Rant journal, long. You've been warned.

Today a text message from my phone provider in Indo reached my phone. It said something like "Dear Customer, your phone bill for this month is Rp 1.179.000,- Please reply to this message with your chosen option of payment.."

FUCK.

Rp 1.179.000 = roughly US$100
Never in my life I reached that amount. The max. I ever reached back then was only around US$50.
Then I realized who've been causing this. And I'm sure as fuck it's not me.

So here's the situation. I'm currently situated in Beijing. I bring my Indo phone here too so my family can contact me undisturbed by bad network and so on. They don't normally call me but they'll text me. That's that.

But then, due to recent problems that rose when I returned for holiday few months back... I think I haven't tell you about my problem as I kept partially quiet about it. So now I'm telling you about it.

There's this guy. Who chased me. Wishing to be 'friends' with me. He's not a bad guy actually, he's nice, helpful, child of God, church goer, will finish his degree in Dentristry soon, and soon to be a Dentist.
Sounds like a good deal? Hear what I'm going to say after this.

I HATE THIS GUY.

Much to my Mom's dismay. Because in my eyes, he's such a cowardly cunt. (Not to count that his looks are less than 30% in my opinion.)

Now, I hope everyone knows that the RIGHT way to get a girl are...
1. Get close to the girl first, get to know her privately, without letting parents meddling in this matter.
2. Get close to the parents after knowing the girl good enough.

I have a feeling that most will agree with me in this matter.

But this particular guy, doing it, like this...
1. Get close to the parents first.
2. Get close to the girl, letting parents meddling in this matter.

*facepalms*

He's probably too naive to think of that. He came in peace to my family's home when I was away in Beijing, looking for me. Then tadaaaaaa, it was like an unpleasant surprise when I came home, finding him in my doorsteps, being friendly to my mom.

What the f---?

Clever cunt. I must say. By being friendly to my mom means that I won't have any way to avoid him. Anything he find lacking in me, he'll only need to report to my mom and mom will have me reprimanded for not replying to his text.

And he actually did that. Once.
Innocently texting my mom, looking for me cos he couldn't reach my phone. And I happen to have my phone with me, and my mom is right beside me. I admit I didn't feel my phone vibrating cos it's in my bag. You know what happen next.

I felt like choking him to death for real. Never in my life I felt like killing someone so badly. And my hatred to my sister was nothing compared to this new problem.

You're wondering why my mom sided with him so much? Let me tell you some fact. She's old. She's ambitious. And she's desperate. I'm the last daughter in the family and I've never been seen walking together with a guy.
Too bad. As for now I'm uninterested of romantic relationship.

I never thought my return to Beijing would feel like a blissful blessing from Heaven. Or so I thought. I'm spared with his visits and daily calls. But then he's ardent enough to call me when I'm in Beijing. I've been giving him hard time cos I rarely replied his smses. Like I care. But still he asked. And me, afraid of my mom, had to reply and decided what time he can call me. *tho for most of the time I only say 'yes' to anything he said and be whatever about it, like I care about him*

Then, his newly found habit, leads to my phone bill bloating. Not to mention that mom's daily calls *reminding me to always always ALWAYS respond to that guy nicely, against my will* doesn't help at all.

Who to blame? Not me of course.

My situation right now literally put me on daily stress. I'm losing my will to go class. I only want to talk to my friends, hoping that the problems will subside. You can tell I'm not very good at dealing stress. On the surface I might look like having tough skin, but I'm actually a big softie as well.

Being forced to do something against your will is bad enough. What's more, someone had to rub it on my face DAILY.
*sighs*
I wish I can tell my dad about this problem. Cos the thing is, my mom even forbid me to open up to my dad. So I'm forced to lie to him every time he asked about my well being. Sorry dad.. ;_; It's not that I want to lie to you, I've got no choice..
And really, you can't imagine what a depressed, old hag of a mom can tell to her last, failure of a daughter. You wouldn't want to imagine.
I had to shoulder it alone. Unable to tell them to someone whom actually living closely by my side like my dad or my sister or my brothers.

Til now, I can only hope that dad will find out by himself, without me having to tell him. He's the only one who's against this atrocity, and doesn't like that guy as well, due to his pride. He did chase that cunt out of the house once. But then again his efforts were futile cos mom forced me to call that guy back, acting like it's from my own initiative.

Dad's the only one who doesn't get lured by the cleverly crafted plan of that fucking guy, and strive to protect me from him. God, I just don't know what the hell I should do now..

I'd rather go unmarried for my whole life rather than living in this hell.